Looks like all that practice that Mickey Rourke has had terrorizing Hollywood’s night life will find a practical purpose. The Iron Man 2 baddie says that he’s signed on to play Mongol Empire founder Genghis Khan, and if you can think of an actor who’s better suited to re-create Khan’s bloody streak of marauding, burning and pillaging, we’d like to hear it.
According to Rourke, the project will be written and directed by John Milius, who penned Apocalypse Now and the soon-to-be-remade Cold War classic Red Dawn:
“I read his script and you know, the man is known for his tough writing….

Oscar-nominated actor Mickey Rourke isn’t above making fun of himself when it comes to making commercials.
Perez Hilton posted a new commercial of Mickey in a an ad for Bavaria Non-Alcoholic Beer, referencing his love of beer, little dogs and throwing a tantrum every once in awhile.
The commercial shows him checking into a swanky hotel and throwing a fit when he finds out they have non-alcoholic beer in their mini-bar fridge.
We suppose that when you’ve had a career with its fair share of ups and downs, you learn how to laugh at yourself.
Check out the hilarious commercial below.

Last night’s Oscars is being universally panned as a boring affair plagued with lame humor, predictable winners, paint-by-numbers production and an overall atmosphere of same-old-same-old.  I would have to concur with this assessment.  The entire experience of the Oscars was only made bearable by the hilarious folks who joined me for my live blog – yes, I just complimented you nitwits; don’t let it go to your heads.  As far as the winners:  all the favorites got their awards, took their bows and headed into glorious futures of bigger salaries and never having to kiss the media’s ass again if they don’t want.  Of course, the one man notable by his absence from the roll of victors was James Cameron, who was beaten by his own ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow.  Most seem pleased by that egomaniac Cameron’s defeat, and happy for Kathryn who at last broke the barrier for women directors at the Oscars.  The Hurt Locker was overall the big winner, grabbing awards left and right, leaving just a few for Avatar and Precious.  Sandra Bullock and Jeff Bridges won the big acting awards and gave heartfelt, amusing speeches.  The hosts, Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin, broke off one-or-two decent jokes but their pairing was nothing special.  For next year…I don’t know, Tina Fey and someone maybe?  Tina seems like everyone’s choice for everything, but only because she is apparently the only person in show-biz who knows how to write funny material.  Maybe they could just go completely off the reservation and have Mickey Rourke host…or Glenn Beck.  Or just don’t have a host.  Or say the fuck with the whole Oscars thing entirely.  One thing I do know:  they have to go back to five best picture nominees.  Maybe I’m just a purist but ten seems like way too many.  Also, if you’re going to do a dead reel, could you please not forget Farrah Fawcett?  Amazing that the uber-sensitive Oscar folks would leave out a woman who died after a courageous battle with cancer.  I guess Patrick Swayze’s battle with cancer was more worthy. 

Darren Aronofsky has a soft spot in his heart for victims of bad plastic surgery. He helped resurrect freakface Mickey Rourke’s career by casting him in The Wrestler, and now he has plucked Barbara Hershey from the realm of the forgotten and dropped the Jocelyn Wildenstein wannabe into the mix for his forthcoming ballet-centered thriller Black Swan.

I can’t tell who who or what Hershey will be playing, but I can tell you that Black Swan concerns a ballerina, played by veggie queen Natalie Portman, who has issues with a dancing rival played by Mila Kunis. Various sources indicate that Aronofsky might be going the twisted Fight Club route here…by having Kunis’s character exist only in Portman’s imagination.

Those of us who hoped The Wrestler marked a turn away from the fanciful and jack-offy for the talented Aronofsky are apparently in for a disappointment. He can make up for it by having Hershey staple something to herself.

Gwyneth Paltrow is putting her quest to become the next Martha Stewart on hold long enough to portray the wife of post-op transsexual Nicole Kidman in Tomas Alfredson’s The Danish Girl.

Yes, Nicole Kidman as a tranny (typecasting if I ever saw it) and Gwyneth Paltrow as his/her wife. Charlize Theron was originally going to play the wife, but she must’ve realized that playing anything opposite Kidman as a tranny had second-fiddle written all over it.

Paltrow, on the other hand, doesn’t mind playing second-fiddle to Nicole Kidman. Or fourth-fiddle to Robert Downey, Mickey Rourke and Scarlett Johansson as she will be doing in Iron Man 2.

One thing’s for sure: when Gwyneth shows up on the set, she will have a clean colon.